And he asked: Why are you single?

I frequent a local restaurant that my friend owns and tonight I went by to visit her and her grumpy, obnoxious friend who I have come to know. In all reality, he is a real hoot and the things that come out of his mouth sometimes tend to be sarcastic or can be taken as rude. But he is a character, that fella and I laugh when I am around him.

Now back to my story, as I spoke to "Andy" (the obnoxious one), he asked me "Why don't you have a boyfriend? Why are you single?" I laughed, and smiled at him and responded "I am too busy for that." He looked at me and responded, "So what! You can stiill have a sex life." I just stared at him, I think my mouth dropped at that moment. I laughed and responded; "A sex life? What's that? No thanks." He continued to ask me about it and why I didn't want a hook up buddy. I couldn't stop laughing. And then he asked me "How are you so busy?" I then told him about all the projects I was working on - The first book; the sequel; making, selling and promoting my jewelry; working on my cancer non-profit; and my cancer for profit. He looked dumbfounded really, and continued to tell me that I needed a sex life. Lol. As I stood there and told my friend about Andy's craziness, she giggled when he pointed to a drunk mam at the end of the bar and told me that he liked me, he wanted to go out with me. It was funny really, there Andy was teasing me away, getting a kick out of my responses. I just continued to laugh at what he was saying. And i think the last thing I said to him was this - "I don't need a man to be happy. I don't mind being single, and I have more important things to do right now."

The truth is that when I was younger, before cancer I didn't care who I dated, I just dated people. I was always in a rush to be with someone, as if I had to have a man to survive. But after cancer, I feel differently about things. When I am looking eventually, I want a man who is driven, passionate and intelligent. There are more qualities that I look for, definitely. So, now I ask you, why are you single? If you are of course single, you still can be fabulous!

Remembering The Good Ol' Days - Way Before Cancer!

So, today, I started to remember things, some great memories I had and treasured from my time way before cancer. Remembering the wonderful times in our lives, are great in aiding us through the toughest times. I mention often that life is too short and that we need to embrace and enjoy the simple things in life, the things that make us truly happy. I'm going to tell you about some of my favorite, most precious memories that I have of growing up, and I will start at the beginning......

* As a young child, I was very creative and artistic, and could entertain myself for hours. Although I don't recall this, my mom reminisces about it often. When I was little - maybe 2 years old or so, I would wake up in the morning and play with my toys for an hour or more, instead of waking up my mom. During bath time, I would play with my bath toys - and have them talking to one another. Cute! I remember living in New York City (good ol' Manhattan) with my mom & dad and the great memories I had while living in these huge apartments called "Waterside Plaza". Waterside Plaza was amazing, it was a huge brown building, and maybe half way up, there was an outdoor playground, an elevated pool and a little liquor store of sorts on a large balcony area. I remember having a great time in that playground and can remember it as if it were yesterday. I recall the great times I had with a best friend, whose mother used to cook us up a large pot of spaghetti, chicken and mix in some ketchup. As bizarre of a combination that it sounds like, I loved it, and still like a little pasta, chicken and ketchup every so often. Mom tells me about the days that I would make creatures out of clay (like I do now) - like a little bunny rabbit, holding a basket with eggs in it. Wow! Impressive for a little girl huh? She says the detail was amazing!

* I remember living in Elmhurst, New York, which was right near Flushing. I think we lived on 80th Street and Grand Avenue? I went to an elementary school that was within walking distance of my home - PS 102 Queens. I lived on the third floor of an apartment building, with some enormous gas tank behind our home. I had some great friends that I hung out with often, Lilly & Lisa and I were almost inseparable and you could always find us playing at the end of the street by this old cherry tree. We'd play for hours, climbing on the cherry tree, eating cherries and pretending we were exploring. I remember walking with my friends down the street to meet with my other friend Patricia, and all of us girls enjoying a nice big slice of New York pizza at a local place. Sleepovers at Lisa's house were the best. I recall my fun days with Lisa, Lilly and Silvia, when we went to the movies together, rode the bus and enjoyed burgers at White Castle. Silvia, was a friend that I met at school, she was from Argentina, her dad was a dentist, and she was so much fun to be with. I remember the times that my stepdad and I would go more into the city part of our town, which was really only a few blocks away from my house and we would get icees. The BEST ever icee in the world was chocolate chip. I always looked forward to those days out. One of my best memories of Patricia, was when my family, Patricia and I went out of town - I believe to the Poconos to celebrate New Years. My step dad was a comedian at the time and had a comedy gig at the hotel that we were staying at. Patricia and I stayed up so late that night, until my parents came into our room and invited us to the party they were having in the hotel restaurant. Patricia and I danced and ate, till our tummies were beyond full. What a great night!!

* For years, I used to go in the car and my parents would say: "Take a nap." I would reply with "I'm not tired! I'm not tired!" and seconds later, I would pass out fast asleep. But one time was different, I saw the traffic and decided to take a nap, but before I did I said to my family - "It's going to be a long trip for you and a very short trip for me."

* My mom used to love taking me to my Uncle Kenny's in New Jersey by bus, and I guess one day I was so mad at her, only five years old, I packed my bag and announced "I'm leaving for Uncle Kenny's!" at the front door.

* I remember the road trips that my family and I took, while my step dad was doing his comedy gigs. One of my most memorable trips was..... when we went to this amazing hotel, that had an indoor pool and playground that I could see from my room (which I was lucky enough to have my own room at the time). There was a mall attached to the hotel, and as you entered the hotel, there was a huge waterfall in the center of the lobby, that went into a pool. It was one of the most exotic hotels that I ever recall going to. I think it was a Holiday Inn in Visalia. There were plenty of comedy shows that my step dad did across the country, and we drove to all of them. I recall one where a gentleman in the back of the room was laughing so hard, that he fell out of his bar seat. The creative and artistic young girl that I was, I drew a picture for the hotel that showed the man falling out of his chair. I believe the comedy club was called Bananas, and on the picture I wrote - At Bananas, you'll laugh till you drop! Or something to that extent - I was ten at the time.

* I remember my tap dancing lessons, that my grandma used to take me to, and our trips to Carvel ice cream afterwards. I loved the times I visited my grandma in Long Island and explored her house, and played in the backyard - climbing on the trees, running around and hanging with her really nice neighbor Mac and his wife. These were some of the best memories as I was growing up, and was under 10 years old. :)

* I remember when I first moved out to Ventura County, new area, new school, new friends. I was used to moving, because we had moved a lot – from New York to California and back and forth. My new middle school was Los Cerritos and was known as the school with no windows. Kids in the neighborhood referred to it as a prison, because there was only one window on the front of the building in the art room. As I walked into the school office, ready for my mom to register me, I met my very first friend – Shoshana. She was sweet and helpful and offered to show me where my class was. She had just come back to school after a scoliosis surgery. Shoshana and I had some amazing times at that school. I met some more kids – JR, Denise & Scott and we all became friends. One of my favorite memories with my friends was when we planned a haunted house inside the school for the Halloween carnival we were having. We planned and set up an entire haunted tour of the school, which was awesome!

* The apartment that I lived in when I first moved to Ventura County, was The Knolls. I have some wonderful memories of that place. Babysitting, helping with the events the apartment community had for the kids, searching for treasures in trash cans with Danny, selling handmade bouquets of flowers and wreaths, and holding kid Olympic events outside my apartment. I recall the first day that I saw my paperboy. He was soooo cute, and rollerbladed all over the complex. His name was John, and he was my first real big crush. I had some great times with John over the years, and we were friends all through high school and even talk a little now.

* I’ve had a lot of jobs in different fields, but I can honestly say that the one that brought me the most happiness was when I worked my first real office job at a local limousine company. I remember waking up every morning looking forward to seeing my fellow staff, my drivers and those gorgeous long stretches. It really was a highlight working there, and brought me so much joy and education. That wasn’t the only job that I loved. The next job that followed that one, was working at Curves – the women’s gym. I met and inspired many women, and still run into them now – over 5 years later. I ended up managing 3 Curves over the years and loved every minute of it.

Connected to Everything

The other night, I went to the movies and saw "My sister's keeper", a story about a young girl with Cancer, and her sister who was born in hopes that she is a match to her older sister, and can save her. It's a touching, heart warming and sad story, and for many of us it had us leaving the theater at the end of it in tears.

I was crying for certain parts of the film, like when the young girl meets a friend, a guy who reminded me so much of my friend Patrick that lost his battle against cancer in September of 2007. The young girl battling cancer, reminded me so much of myself and what I went through. The bone marrow biopsies in the film made me cringe, the moment she mentioned that she had APL (Acute Promylocitic Leukemia), which is a subtype of AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia). There I was in the theater, feeling ultimately connected to this young girl, who was fighting for her life, the same way I did when I was diagnosed with final stage Leukemia. (Just a note: There are 7 sub-types of Acute Myeloid Leukemia. I sufferred from Acute Promylocitic Leukemia. M3 has the highest peri-induction mortality rate. More people die during the first few doses of chemo than in any of the other sub-types! And did you know that 1/3 of people diagnosed with Leukemia, don't have symptoms! Wow, just like me!) As I continued to watch the movie and the young girls' trials and tribulations and decreased immune system, I saw how sick she was, and knew that when I was at the hardest part of my battle, I looked like her. I remember being in the hospital and hearing people tell me how sick I looked, how pale and yellow my face was, and how as my health improved, I was regaining color back in my face.

There was so much signifigance in this movie, to what I experienced in my battle against cancer, and it touched me in so many ways - mentally, emotionally and physically. As I continue surviving and thriving in my life after cancer, I have lots of time to look at the past 2 and a half years. Re-evaluating the way my life once was and the what my life has become all because of this intervantion from God. I feel connected more than ever to God, and to my great friends & family, and to my newfound love of life.

Letters of Recomendation

The Leukemia Lymphoma Society Team in Training (TNT):

To whom it may concern:

Rachel Shur became an honored teammate with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training (TNT) program in 2008. Honored teammates are blood cancer survivors who volunteer their time to advocate for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) and provide encouragement for participants who are training for a marathon, half marathon while raising money for LLS. Rachel speaks at information meetings about the program and conveys to potential new participants the difference that the money raised by TNT has made. Rachel’s story tells the seriousness of this disease and the importance of raising money to cure it, yet somehow she is also able to put on a big smile and make people laugh. She shows them that even though she has been through some really tough times fighting cancer, she is determined to live life to the fullest and have a good time.

Rachel also comes out to TNT practices at 6:30AM on Saturday mornings to cheer on participants while they are training. In her words she is “that crazy one out there screaming and yelling and cheering them on”. Even when they have just finished running 18 miles, Rachel can bring a smile to their faces and reminds them of the reason they are training. Rachel also attends TNT social events and allows participants to get to know her. This allows them to get a glimpse of what it is really like to be a cancer survivor and gives them the chance to ask any questions that they might have about blood cancer and its treatment.

Rachel is a tremendous advocate and inspiring speaker for the cause and is willing to do anything within her means to help improve the lives of patients and their families and find a cure. I can always count on Rachel to step up and volunteer for anything that is needed. She loves to speak about her journey and spread the word about the need for others to join the mission to find a cure for blood cancer. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

Elise McConeghy

Campaign Manager

Ventura County, Team In Training

Greater Los Angeles Chapter

The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

(T )805-485-1781

(E) elise.mcconeghy@lls.org

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Ventura Community College:

Dear Rachel,

Thank you so much for coming and speaking to my health classes at Ventura College. Not only was your story inspiring and enlightening, but your positive outlook on life is a lesson in itself. It was especially informative to bring the books filled with information and pictures detailing your experience. Those who have never experienced cancer themselves, or through a loved one, saw vivid pictures and your real life story. You are wonderful, bright, and positive despite the hard times you went through during your cancer battle. I hope that that you can continue speaking about your cancer experience and spreading awareness throughout the community.

Thank you again for speaking, and I look forward to hearing you again!

Mary McDonough-Giles

Professor of Health and Physical Education

Ventura College

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Children's Cause Cancer Advocacy:

Ms. Rachel Shur:

Thank you for your participation as a speaker in this year's Rise To Action (RTA) conference for young adult cancer survivors held in Los Angeles, California. The Children's Cause for Cancer Advocacy is grateful to you for your selfless contribution of time and energy towards our February 7, 2009 conference held at USC's Norris Comprehensive Cancer Center.

Your role on the survivor panel was an invaluable contribution to the overall success of the conference. The courage you demonstrated by sharing your survivorship story, as well as your kindhearted interactions with younger survivors in attendance, helped to make the day a memorable and meaningful experience for everyone.

RTA-LA was attended by over one hundred young adult cancer survivors in their teens, twenties, and thirties and their family members. RTA aims to help survivors learn how to manage their follow-up care and deal with issues unique to them, relying heavily upon role model survivors like you to lead by example. RTA-LA featured panels and breakout sessions on topics ranging from late effects and fertility concerns to health insurance and employment issues.

Your active participation and leadership in programs such as Rise To Action are important because you inspire and empower other survivors to take action to protect the health of their bodies and minds. Research indicates that as many as two-thirds of childhood cancer survivors are likely to experience at least one late effect - or health complication - from having had cancer or treatment. As a speaker at RTA-LA, you have helped to equip survivors with the necessary tools to deal with some of those issues and know where to find help.

On behalf of the Children's Cause, we thank you and we highly recommend your leadership skills to other conferences and organizations that may have the good fortune of benefiting from them.

Best Wishes,

Jess Reamy

Program Associate

Children’s Cause for Cancer Advocacy

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Ombudsman of Los Angeles - Pink Day

November 5, 2008

Ms. Rachel Shur

Leukemia Survivor Advocate

Dear Ms. Shur:

Your participation as a panelist in our first Survivors’ Panel Forum ensured the success of our 2008 “PINK” Day Breast Health and Cancer Awareness Wellness Program Activity. Thank you for your time, enthusiasm, and your commitment to motivating others challenged with surviving cancer. Your insights as a leukemia survivor was well received and commented on by those who attended the Q&A session.

Over 100 County employees and others attended this one-day event. The materials you donated provided up-to-date information on leukemia and the valuable outreach programs and resources available. Our goal for this year was to include information about different types of cancer to broaden and challenge participants learning experience; your presentation about twice surviving leukemia helped us achieve that goal.

Ms. Shur, we are sincerely grateful for your accepting our invitation to speak on such a short notice. We look forward to having you join us at next year’s Breast Health and Cancer Awareness Wellness Program Activity. The program is always held on the last Thursday of October.

Sincerely,

Mary L. Calhoun, Wellness Program Activity Coordinator/Executive Assistant to OMBUDSMAN JOHN S. FERNANDES

510 South Vermont Avenue, Suite 215 Los Angeles, CA 90020-1912 (213) 738-2003 FAX: (213) 637-8662 1-800-801-0030 (Complaints) E-Mail: ombudla@ombuds.lacounty.gov

Pay It Forward

Every month or so, my mom & I go out to splurge on our favorite thing to do together – we get a pedicure! As we sat waiting for our freshly painted toes to dry, I did my usual thing – made some jewelry, and my mom next to me was playing a brain game on her cell phone. The lady sitting in front of us seemed sad, I could see it in her eyes, and all I wanted to do was hug her and let her know that whatever she was going through was just a stepping stone. She ended up talking to me – noticing my jewelry that I was working on. She asked me how long I had working with jewelry and I told her – about fifteen years. As I talked to the nice woman, I told her a little more about me, about having cancer and experiencing life. She in turn looked at me and told me her sad story, a tragedy had hit her when her sister was killed recently, and she was still grieving. I was so saddened to hear her story, about her immense loss and about her new found kids (her sister’s children) that she was caring for. In an instant her life had changed drastically, she went from being retired to working again to support her new family. I understood a part of what she was experiencing – the loss of a family member. We continued talking and she told me about her other sister who was battling brain cancer. Her sister was having a hard time going through the radiation and I understood, because I too had been there with the heavy radiation treatments. I offered my ear, and my shoulder to the woman, I gave her hope and inspiration. The tools and gifts that I know God has supplied me with to help those in need. As we talked, I made a little key-chain – a wire woman with boobs and stilettos and a hope ribbon – one of my signature creations and handed it to my new friend. I told her that anytime she needed someone to talk to, she could call me, she could talk to me about anything – cancer, etc and I would be there to help in any way that I could.

I spoke to a friend of my aunts recently, a man who was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s b-cell lymphoma, and was going through the same things I was experiencing when I was first diagnosed with cancer. He really needed to talk to someone who had been there, gone through the treatments, I understood the side effects – chemo brain mainly and the life changes. I provided him with the tools he needed, the links to numerous support groups online, support groups in his city, all online forums and networking sites, where he could meet others who were going through or had gone through the same thing as he was. Even though I had gone through a different type of cancer, and some very different treatments, I helped him and provided him with the tools and information that he needed to get through it. I know that he appreciated it, and ended up passing on the information I had given him to his nephew in California who had cancer as well. I did send him some booklets in the mail that I felt would help him with his battle against cancer, and help him understand more of the treatments he was going through.

This is my way of paying it forward, by helping people any way I can and not expecting anything in return. Just helping someone is its own reward. I know that I not only brought some hope to that woman, but I brought her inspiration and the realization that she’s not alone. Even a stranger can bring a new thought or provide you with the inspiration that you may need to get by. My mom was really impatient as we waited in the salon, and just wanted to be able to go, but she was stuck because I had driven us there. After we left the salon, I turned to mom and said. We were there longer than expected, but there was a reason. We were meant to meet that woman, to share stories and to give her the inspiration that she needed, the hope she wanted and the strength and ability to overcome her obstacles. I looked at mom and said “It’s a God thing. God wanted us to cross paths.” It was a God thing, if we had left minutes earlier, we never would have met that woman, and we never would have been able to help her. The important things to keep in mind are: 1) Our lives can change, even drastically in a moment and we need to realize that we have a choice – to embrace the change and help & inspire others, or just move on with life as we knew it. And 2) If you are given a second chance at life, after a diagnosis, whether it be cancer, becoming a quadriplegic or anything else that alters your life, you MUST pay it forward. Help someone in anyway you can. Improve your life as you once knew it and help others, cook dinner for a homeless person, provide someone in need with information they need, give a neighboring kid a summertime job to help him/her pay for college, etc. Whatever you decide to do to pay it forward, don’t think about what you can get out of it. Happiness and gratefulness is enough.

I pay it forward in many ways, more ways than spreading hope and inspiration to those I meet. I try to bring a smile to at least one person’s face a day, somehow, someway. Even the little things we do can impact peoples' lives - like the homeless man I see near my house, I always bring Tom a little something to eat when I can, because I know he appreciates that so much. :) I dance in my car and sing out loud with my friends staring at me and laughing in my car, I make various presents for the wonderful people at the City of Hope, I speak for events and at local schools to get the word out there- That there is always hope, there is always a way to overcome obstacles and the people we loose in our lives leave a footprint on our hearts and in our minds. We always have their memories, and most of them leave an impact – no matter how big or small in our lives. This is what makes these people truly memorable, and this is what makes life worth living!

Life is too short - Live it up!

With the recent passing of the king of pop Michael Jackson, yesterday and sex symbol & actress Farrah Fawcett, as well as Ed McMahon most of us are coming to realize that life truly is too short. MJ was only 51 and died from a hear attack, Farrah was 41 and battled cancer, Ed passed on in his sleep due to numerous health problems. These recent deaths have affected our country in a huge way, the king of pop was an American Icon, Farrah was the first Charlie's Angel, Ed is well known for his work with Johnny Carson. It's not just the recent deaths than we notice, it's also the alarming number of people who are diagnosed with cancer, people we know, children we meet, and stars we love; like Christina Applegate, Patrick Swayze, Sheryl Crow, Fran Drescher, Kylie Minogue, Leona Lewis, and Kathy Bates to name a few. Cancer doesn't discriminate, it doesn't matter how old or young you are, whether you are famous or poor, cancer can strike at any time. During times like these, we try to stay positive, even when we find out that these beloved stars like Farrah, Ed & Michael have passed on. We must keep in mind, that we only have this one life, these moments are precious and sacred. Life is too short, and we need to live it up!

I send love to the families of these fallen well known favorites. I want everyone to take a momnet to ask themselves: " Am I living my life to the fullest? Am I doing the things I love to do? Am I inspiring people anyway I can?" I was given a second chance at life, perhaps a 3rd chance if you consider my stem cell transplant as a rebirth - like many do. I am living my life to the fullest, working on the things I love most, surrounding myself with the people who bring me positivity, serenity and laughter, and inspiring others along the way. I know this is a lot to think about, our present, the future and how our lives can change in a moment, and we can't control it, we can only find a way to work with it, and help others along the way and just live. My favorite saying is "Fight 2 Live". Because after cancer rocked my world, it changed my life and impacted my life in such a way that I finally saw, what was really important, what I really needed to survive and strive. I surrounded myself with people who brought joy in my life and got rid of the negative energy that was devouring me.

Like Nike says "Just Do It". No excuses, nothing is holding you back but yourself. LIVE!!!

The Importance of Support Groups 4 Cancer

There I was sitting in a room full of fellow survivors, there was one big difference between them and me...... I was the youngest, and they had at least 21 or more years on me. This is the monthly group that I not only look forward to attending, but that I have been accustomed to attending. Even though most of them were diagnosed with cancer, at a later stage of their lives, they were given the chance to really live their lives. Most of the members of my cancer support group are older, married and with children and grand children. They've lived their lives, they've ran businesses and most of them are retired and enjoying live even more. For some of them, they are still working to feel like they have some amount of normalcy in their lives.

So, last night I went to my monthly group and listened as a newcomer spoke to us about the problem he was having. The problem was something that many of us in the room could understand and fully comprehend. He was a young 50 year old, working a job he loved, and had been involved with for well over 20 years, and he was feeling fatigue on a big level. As I listened to what he said, a lot of things that hes was feeling really hit home for me. I listened to the other adults in the room, share their insight and advice on what this man should be doing, or what could help him with this difficult transition. When I was able to talk, I said to him "Everyone in this room, knows my story and what I have been through. I have been where you are in your life too. When I was diagnosed, I returned to work quickly because I LOVED my job, even against my doctor's orders, I worked from home until I was able to work at the office again. After every treatment and even after my stem cell transplant, I quickly rushed back to work. But when my company went out of business in December of 2008, I was crushed and tried to replace the job i loved with other jobs. They didn't even come close. Eventually, I got to a point of my life where I noticed changes - brain changes. I was checked out by my doctor and told that I have scaring on my brain as a result of my chemotherapy & radiation treatments, and when I was stressed out, I would experience memory lapses, small blackouts and forgetfulness. As much as I wanted to resume to my life - the normalcy, I had to come to terms with myself that it wouldn't. So when my doctor suggested that I take a leave from working, I did. I can't tell you how much it's helped me. I haven't worked in about 4 months now, but it's made me see that I need to focus on the things that are important to me, the things I enjoy doing - like making jewelry! Now I am at a very different place in my life, than anyone else in this group. You all have lived full lives, gotten married, worked a lifetime, had children, and grand children. I am only 29 years old, unable to have kids, experiencing fatigue spells that make me sleep all day some days, not even close to be married, and trying to get my life to something that I can call somewhat normal. Perhaps, you need to take a break from work, like I did. Take time off, maybe try something part time, enjoy life and do things that make you happy, like I do. I get out there and spread the word about my experience with cancer and spread hope and inspiration. I know that we all want to resume our lives where we left off, before we had cancer - we all want to be normal, but after cancer, our lives have changed and we will never have that normalcy again. We need to learn how to cope with the change and find the things we enjoy most in life and do them! We all experience fatigue and I wish that my friends would understand that I don't have the energy that I used to and I may never again. That's why I speak, to spread the word."

The truth is, that after a cancer diagnosis and treatments, we realize what is really important in our lives, and we utilize this experience to make us better people. We all suffer from the side effects - the assorted size effects - many suffer from chronic fatigue, some suffer weight gain or weight loss, brain scaring, memory loss and more. The importance of support groups for cancer survivors and simple - it brings us a place to share a common understanding, a common experience, and to realize that we are not alone. We can't expect our friends to fully understand what we are going through and what we are experiencing, but we can share it with them, and hope that they understand in some way where we are coming from. Fellow survivors amazing people to have in our lives. As I say on my myspace profile, Thank You Cancer. As dysfunctional as that may sound, I am thankful for the experience, the life change and the wonderful people I have met along the way, in addition to helping me realize who my true friends are. The truth is I wouldn't have it any other way! This is my life, I have one life to live and gosh darn it, I am going to make it a good one!! *CELEBRATE LIFE!!*