Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Looking Onto the Future!

The future, we don't know what the future holds for us- where we will end up, what we will do, what road we will choose...... I am excited about the future- my future and the future of UCAAN and all of the things that I'd love to work on. Currently working on a few things including the possibility of getting together a team of Fund-raising professionals and working on a program where we can help survivors of cancer have their own fund-raisers. There are too many times that I hear about survivors who are diagnosed and loosing their homes, survivors needing surgery and not having insurance, or needing money for prescriptions and not being able to get it covered. I am constantly working on bigger and better ideas of ways that I can help more and more survivors,,,,

11/24/10 - Unexpected Turns

Life..... Has it's share of unexpected turns - some of which we have no control or little control over. For me, it happened today (Tuesday) as I was trying to get everything set for the Gift Wrap 4 a Cause Fun-raiser that UCAAN is sponsoring.

I was rushing to get the insurance, taking it to the Janss Mall and trying to get to the office to get some much needed work done. It definitely was unexpected when I showed up at the office to find my desk cleared off. I was confused and didn't see my notebooks or binders anywhere. As I walked into the main office and asked someone about it, they were clueless.

I waited for the boss man to come in and when he did, I told him about my day so far and how I was hoping it all would work out. He then goes into this story and tells me "Business is so good right now, that I am expanding my office, more call centers and no space for the other Biz..... ____ is moving the other office into his home, so he is laying you off..." That was pretty much it. I was in tears. I felt like my heart was ripped right out of me. I didn't know how to respond other than cry.

As he looked at me he told me that he was able to get me some severance pay, which I was grateful for, but still crushed. I knew that it wasn't his decision to lay me off, and I appreciated him going to bat for me - but the case was - it was done and I was lost, confused, and crushed. I couldn't believe that I was being Laid off right before Thanksgiving, right before Christmas. I was unsure of what to say - so I sat there and cried and laughed and cried some more. No one else in the office knew my news, and I walked out of there just as if nothing was wrong and as if I would return another day.

I ended up telling Justin about it, and as shocked as he was..... he was also very supportive. Something I had never seen in any man I had dated. Once I got to his house, he hugged me and held me and said - "Don't worry baby it'll be alright. Whatever you need just let me know. I'll work extra hours for you..... if you need anything ok?" I've never experienced this kind of real love from a man - I was beyond appreciative. He's awesome and I am so lucky to have found him. :)

Sooo.... the day goes on.... I get the keys to the Gift Wrap 4 a Cause store, drop some stuff off there and head home. I talk with my mother about the situation and she brings something to light. The entire day since the news, I was soooo sad, depressed and confused. I couldn't understand how someone who knew me for years and loved me could do something like this - right before the holidays and behind someone else - unable to tell me themselves. :( All I could ask God was- "Why?" and I said aloud - "I hope there's something better for me to do, that you are showing me the way for!" As I sat with my mom she said the words that rang clear: "You're meant to focus on UCAAN 100%. To make it BIG, to help more people, and to make it a success." She was right..... All this year I was struggling between one place and UCAAN - always trying to put all of my energy into UCAAN and the same amount into the other thing. I kept wishing to myself that I could get out there more and speak more- for UCAAN, about UCAAN and why I do all I do. Well, this is it.

I am thankful for my Cancer, the experience changed my life. And even though it's hard to say it now- I am thankful that I was laid off - because it made me realize that there are more important things that I MUST be doing - and it's 4 simple words: UCAAN Make a Difference! And I plan on it.

So, in closing I would like to say that - Yes life does have it's unexpected turns and we each have our trials and tribulations - but there's a purpose! God wants us to see what we're really made of, to realize what we are meant to do and to take that faith and our passion and DO IT! Take the turns as they come, evaluate your life and your situation. Pray about it. And work on the things you are most passionate about - the things that would make you most happiest in life and follow them - where ever it may lead you!